Baby Memory Book: Remember The 'Celestial' Days - by Kyle Crane

Baby Memory Book: Remember The 'Celestial' Days - by Kyle Crane: "I think there are certain 'watershed' moments in the life of each family. Ours happened in June of 1995 when we finally got our last child potty trained. I sat down and punched a few numbers: we had gone through over twenty five thousand diapers!

While potty training our kids, my wife would sit next to the child for hours and read them story books until she got them to tinkle. To celebrate, she would clap, cheer, and give them chocolate--the exact same things that Oprah needs to sustain her fragile ego and mercurial waistline.

The whole process took place on a cute little plastic potty-chair that had endured the onslaught of our six well-fed little porkers. So, I called the family to gather in the back yard. We formed a sacred circle around the potty chair. In solemn assembly, I uttered a few reverent words about how that little chair had served us so well. I then passed out the golf clubs and we proceeded to beat the potty chair into about six thousand pieces."